Internet connection @ the speed of light?-Part 1

I finally decided that i needed a internet connection at home..

why u may ask..several reasons
* people were getting suspicious at office about my browsing habits
* there is no privacy here in the office..opening indiatimes page and my manager walking into my cube always happens in sync
* i can send mails in the middle of the night to get visibility about my long hours..(ofcorse i'll be busy at work at that time:-)
* use the 'work from home' facility..working from office has its problems..even though 90% of time u dont do any work, but you have to be ready for any onslaught and keep lots of 'work' windows open so that you can go there when someone drops by your cube..this opening of many windows leads to precious resource wastage which can be effectively used if we work from home..
* company reimburses internet expenditure..

well, the last point is like getting Death By Chocolate for free..so, i decided to eat it..

The journey to get internet connection is not that easy..as a quote on my desktop says 'always take plenty of time to make a snap decision'..i truly followed it and decided to get the connection after about 9months..so i wanted it fast..i've wasted precious bandwidth and knowledge i could have gained in this time..

Unfortunately, AIrtel wasn't giving broadband in my area..reason -> No 'No-Objection-Certificate' from concerned authorities even after paying 100Rs fees and 100Cr bribes.. I was left with one and one Rupee BSNL..

* I go to BSNL office at 10AM on a weekday (thus giving me perfect alibi to go to office in the evening only) and apply for phone connection and internet connection. But they refuse my internet connection application because their system will crash if they enter the application without a phone number..so i just apply for phone and wait for it to come..I also pay up 2K as registration charges and lady foretells me to keep ready my monthly paycheck to be paid as bribes when they install the phones...there is column for cellnumber and i give it in the application [1]

* the phonewallah or the so called Field Agent could n't identify the address specified.. my address is 1st floor, No. X, XX cross, XXX colony etc. ofcourse this address is tough to crack for the person who is spending his entire life roaming through those 2 crosses..i spot him enjoying his tea at a shop and bring to house and get the phone connection..i promptly pay up my one-month pay as bribe..i didn't had cash, but no problems, they accept all major credit cards..

* i was relieved when i got the phone the in 3 days..i mean how can this happen..surely competition has worked its magic on BSNL!! but i later find that the everything is in place except that my phone doesn't work immediately..A person at the exchange has to press 'Enter' key on my record to make it active and give me the much needed phone number..this is manual intensive and might take anywhere between 3-5 working days..remember BSNL works only one day a week..

* after much follow up, i finally get the phone up and its number..I've cleared the first hurdle in connecting to the internet and realising my dreams..
PS:- instrument after instrument failed after being alive for half-hour..but this doesn't matter as i've got the much needed phone number..this battle can go on in parallel thus saving precious hours for me!

* I go back to the BSNL office on saturday to apply for internet connection..But it is second saturday and gods have forbidden people to work on that day..Frustrated with my idiocacy on going to a govt office on a saturday, i decide to apply for internet connection through internet itself!! There is registration page in bangloretelecom.com and opt for it to save time going physically over to the office [Suicide no#1]

* with my phone connection coming through in 3 days, i was positive that the net connection will come in a year or two...But i wanted to know the status..have they received my registration or has the India Post lost it on the way?? You can register it online but you wont be given any confirm number/transcation id..it is lost in the world of forms??

* BSNL is a phone company and true to its name, has hundred different enquiry numbers..I set aside a day for tracking the status and start with calling some numbers they have given in the page..people were courteous..in fact they asked for my name/phone number/when did i registered etc..i got diff replies from from numbers..some of them are as follows

* this is not a enquiry number
* wait for couple of weeks...we'll get back to you when your request reaches us.
* contact the so-and-so division...sorry we dont have the number for that..
* what? you registered it online? does that mean u have sent it by speed-post?
* your phone number doesn't exist according to our database..so we cant help
* you registered it online? then why you again need the connection?
* neevu illi bandhu check maadi..
* come to the office and give a letter stating you've applied it online.
* which plan do you have? why dont you go for indiaone phone plan?

at the end of the day i was there, where i started in the morning..nobody knows what happened to my online application and how to track it?

But i'm not the one who gives up so easily..as i dont have much to work..i spent the next couple of days calling more numbers..finally it boiled down to 2 numbers..many people had asked me to call and get the status from one of these 2 numbers..

* i call these 2 number..its busy..i call again..its ringing but nobody's picking it up even after 5 mins..i try again..'this number doesn't exist..please check your number'..i try again..its just dead silent..i try in the morning, before noon, after noon, 2, 3,4,5,6,7,8,9 PM..same fate..
at the end of the day i was there, where i started in the morning, 3 days back.

* i had given up that i'll ever access net from my home, when suddenly, out-of-the-blue a call came to my cellphone from BSNL..can you believe it..BSNL called me..i was ecstatic..it seems it was web administration dept..they were verifying that indeed i've applied for it..yes..yes..yes..i said yes to all their questions..yes thats what i filled in the form..actually he was happy that someone used this feature..apparently i was the first one to use it so they were extra careful in veriyfing that all the bits were stored correctly.. I ask them when can i expect the connection..this seems to have angered him..its not his job..he is IT guy apparently..this will be send to the concerned department..he refused to divulge the dept name as he himself "has to figure it out now..but dont worry..you'll get the connection..atleast in your life time."very comforting indeed.

[more to come..]